How to Avoid the “Traumatized Kid with No Parents” Trope
We get it. Writing parents can be a pain. You’re juggling a cast of characters, world-building, plot twists, subplots—and then here come the parents, needing attention. It’s so tempting to k*ll them off (or ship them abroad) and get on with it. But let’s face it: this shortcut has turned into a tired, predictable trope that robs your story of nuance.
Why is it a problem?
• It’s an easy sympathy card, but often rings hollow.
• It makes characters one-dimensional—defined only by loss.
• It trivializes real trauma by using it as a convenient plot device.
This is especially true for stories about teens and young adults. In high school or college stories, parents often get conveniently erased so the protagonist can have all the freedom to explore romance, drama, or magical powers. But even if the parents aren’t front and center, they shape how young characters see themselves, how they handle conflict, and how they trust others. Ignoring them completely flattens your character’s world.
In adult stories, it’s more natural for parents to fade into the background—characters have established independence, and the story might focus on careers, romantic relationships, or internal struggles. But even then, occasional mentions of parental influence (good or bad) can add emotional depth.
So, how do we avoid this trope? Instead of Dead Parents, Try These:
Busy Parents
Think workaholic dad who’s always traveling, or a mom working overtime all the time to make ends meet. They’re not absent—they’re just overworked, leaving the kid feeling neglected. This lets you explore emotional loneliness despite physical presence.
Example: The protagonist calls home, but mom’s too exhausted to ask about their day.
Emotionally Distant Parents
Parents who are cold, critical, or just don’t know how to connect emotionally. Maybe they provide for the character materially but fail at supporting them emotionally. This can create a rich backstory of low self-worth or constant people-pleasing.
Example: A father who’s there but never says “I love you,” or a mother who’s more invested in her social life than her child’s emotional world.
Indifferent Parents
Parents who treat the character like a background prop—acknowledging them but with zero emotional investment. They’re present but act like the kid’s a roommate rather than their child. This sets up opportunities for the character to find “found family” among friends or mentors.
Example: The protagonist’s parents let them do whatever they want, never asking questions, never getting involved.
Background Parents
Parents exist but don’t take the spotlight—like wallpaper. Maybe they’re supportive or maybe not, but they don’t overshadow the main story. This works especially well for older characters who’ve already moved out and built lives independent of their parents.
Example: A protagonist who lives on their own but occasionally calls home for quick check-ins that never turn into plot points.
Parents as the Source of Trauma
Real-life trauma often stems from within the home: emotional manipulation, physical or verbal abuse, neglect, or unreasonable expectations. This can create deep, complex wounds that shape a character’s behavior, fears, and motivations.
Example: An overbearing parent who projects their unfulfilled dreams onto the child, or a parent who’s emotionally abusive but still calls themselves “loving.”
Trauma from Outside the Home
Your character might have a functional family but suffer at school (bullying, social rejection), in the workplace (harassment, burnout), or due to societal discrimination (racism, sexism). Trauma is everywhere, not just inside the home.
Example: A protagonist who’s brilliant but bullied at school, creating insecurity and a drive to prove themselves.
Functional + Dysfunctional Mix
Families are complicated. Maybe one parent is loving and supportive while the other is critical or absent. Or maybe both parents love the child but are fighting constantly, creating an environment of stress and instability. This adds realism and complexity to your character’s background.
Example: A character who adores their mom but resents their dad for cheating—setting up internal conflict that shapes their relationships.
Remember: Your character’s trauma—or lack of it—should serve the story, not just fill a checkbox. Make it real, make it specific, and, above all, make it matter.
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